Last year I completed a charitable bicycle trip that followed a course across America, then Africa, where I logged more than 7,000 miles from Cairo, Egypt, to Cape Town, South Africa. I gathered many fascinating stories--funny, bittersweet, poignant, all entertaining. Except one.
While in Lilongwe, Malawi, some of the other bike riders, who were White, could not wait to see my reaction when they told me they had learned about a store named Niggers that was in the region. Initially I thought it was a bad joke, but I had to see for myself.
What I found was a store selling what the owner called hip-hop-style clothing. The shop was manned by two gentlemen, one of whom was asleep. I asked the other clerk about the store name. On hearing my obvious non-Malawian accent and figuring out that I was American, the man thumped his chest proudly and said, "P. Diddy New York City! We are the niggers!"
My first inclination was to laugh, because many things in isolation can be humorous. But I then realized that this wasn't funny at all. It was pathetic. I had traveled on these bicycle trips across the United States and through the Motherland in honor of my good friend, mentor and fellow African-American, Kevin Bowser, who died on 9/11. Here I was, riding "home" to honor a Black man who had been a moral compass to me and so many others. I had committed 175 days to spread his spirit of friendship, generosity and love, and what did I encounter? Some Africans calling themselves niggers. They were so proud of the designation that they even put it on their storefront.When I related the story to folks back home in Philadelphia, most of them laughed. Many made excuses, saying, "Weil, we can say it to each other" or "There's a difference" or even "They just spelled it wrong; it should have been niggas or niggahs." As if that would have mattered. There is no way we can possibly rationalize this--it's no joke.
For me the issue is not the spelling. By calling ourselves niggers, we have degraded our people to the point that our mind-set has spread like a cancer, affecting our source, our brothers, our sisters, our Motherland. I have traveled all over the world and have never seen such an insulting, inflammatory word used by a business to represent a people.
I feel partly to blame. Every time I have said the word I condoned it. When 1 neglected to correct others or rationalized its use, I gave it respectability; I allowed others to believe it was okay. Ultimately, when I purchased CDs, DVDs, T-shirts and other merchandise that used the word, I enriched it. I now see the error of my ways. The flame that we call entertainment-which was meant only to warm and divert us--now engulfs us and scorches our self-esteem.
That's why in the future I'm going to think before I speak those words, listen to those lyrics, and purchase that rhetoric in songs. I may like the beats and rhythms, but if artists use the word nigger, I can no longer support them.